Complimenting my friends like
trying to put my bedsheets on by myself is like wrestling with satan
trying to bang with ur boo while ur parent in the other room
assassination: a nation that is sassy
I made an old lady blush today at work because she ordered two senior coffees and I said “SENIOR ? I’m sorry miss, i’m going to have to ask to see some ID.” and she covered her mouth and went “Oh dear me” and couldn’t stop smiling
Boy: Wanna go out sometime?
Me: No, I’m sorry. I’m really trying to focus on my career right now.
this is how gay people communicate
How tumblr thinks statistics works.